I have a video of the birth of my 19-year old daughter that I have never watched. Truthfully, I am a chicken. I just can't watch it. I'm so glad I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, but, even after 18 years, I am still not ready to be an observer of that moment. What does this have to do with my art?
I have been filming time lapse videos of the "birth" of my paintings.
The first few videos filmed were so hard for me to shot and even watch. I felt shy and nervous. By the third and forth filming I could not get enough! It is not about seeing me painting. It's about witnessing the creative process. It feels so exciting to become the viewer.
When the painting session is completed, I climb the ladder to stop the filming and collapse with exhaustion. I can't wait to then hit the play button. Oh what incredible satisfaction and joy. Not of what I just did, but of watching the birth of this new creation condensed into seconds.
So, now I must rethink this birth video of my daughter. If I watch it on fast forward, could I have that same thrill?